Thursday, July 24, 2008

hey, heres one way how to irratate your friend on gtalk..


DISCLAIMER : all the charecters in this play are real.none is fictious. any resemblence of these charecters with the real life persons either living or dead is not at all coincident.
this chat is entirely intentional ( targeted at will) and is entitled to all liabilites.


im copy pasting one of my chats with my frnd here :
(NOTE: meant exclusively for gults)

Chat with juu

juu

to me
show details 6:36 PM (15 hours ago)
Reply

6:23 PM juu: hi
6:24 PM me: syntax error
please use system.out.println();to process ur request
6:26 PM juu: entra idi
6:27 PM me: syntax error
please use system.out.println("entra idi");to process ur request
juu: system.out.println("entra idi");
6:29 PM me: syntax error again
computer ki syntax errors ichi visuku teppinchaku
S-> capital in System.out.println();
please use system.out.println();to process ur request
6:30 PM juu: System.out.println(chaalu ra babu... ii lokam lo ki raara);
System.out.println("chaalu ra babu... ii lokam lo ki raara");
6:31 PM me: earth_not_found_Exception():
juu: visuku vasthundhi
me: system unable to logon to "ii lokam"
please provide proper login name and password
6:32 PM juu: are mood lo lenu ra.. vadulu ra
eppudu vasthunnav
??
me: system can understand only English
its mandatory that you use English
6:33 PM USER TIP OF THE DAY:"if you get irritated please bang ur head to the system and type done"
6:36 PM system is logging off...
saving settings
juu: k
me: shutting down
juu: bye

NOTE: this chat is entirely copy pasted from gtalk saved chats. No inclusions,no exclusions and absolutely no match fixings!! everything is spontaneous from both the parties :) .

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

MAPROMANIA

THE WORLD OF MAPROSOFT:
(MANOJ professional software Inc)

heres are some of news articles on this worlds leading s\w company.justhave a look at tip of the iceberg.
popular news articles on this company :
1."words cant describe this company (only following statistics can :-))" - BBC, London
ACM survey reults statistics: (percentage to the right indicate market share)
operating system : MAPROTOSH version1 98.35% others 1.65
integrated packages : MAPROOFFICE 96.3% others 3.7%
web browser : MAPROJACKAL 99.9% FIREFOX 0.03% others 0.07%
search engine : MAPROSEARCH 100% others 0(why?? read news articl 3)
e mail : MAPROMAIL 89% others 11% (introduced just 5 hrs ago.. just wait for 3 more hrs for statistics to change)
cellphone : MAPROFONE(with integrated MAPROD) 97% ifone 2%(keww survival in market) others 1%
swissbank account : MANOJ BANK BALENCE 99.4% BILLGATES 0.001% others 0.599%

2. "maprosearch is completely opensource but google's professional programmers could not even understand single line of it to understand and copy !!" -larry page and seargey brin(founders of google)

3. "the word 'maprosoft' is banned from typing in all other search engines except maprosearch since the no. of search resultsare too high that so far google, msn ,yahoo etc.. have been crashed for loading search results"

4."oxford edition is going to edit one of its synonyms for god to be manoj " - Harold E. Palmer(oxford research head)

5."this is absolutely ridiculous .. noble prize in computing is always going for one person(he who must not be named)everytime eversince it was introduced :( . we demand 2 noble prizes in this field from next year" -Bill gates

6."how manoj started MAPROSOFT?" - newyorks bestseller for 53rd consecutive week(record so far) beating "manojs ps2 diary"which was earlier best seller

7."its such an innovative idea that MAPROTOSH do not require any monitor for displaythings are getting displayed in a 3d goggles .. even poorman could afford .im proud thatits coder is also an indian" - sonia gandhi (UPA)
"chaa... gov.t is propogating and publicizing false products.. MAPROTOSHs goggles cost only rs 20 but OS costs rs 200000" -LK advani(leader :opposition)
"dont worry u guys.. were on verge of developing new version of MAPROTOSH ... the MAP beta version it costs only 20 paise .. even a child with 1 rupee pocket money can get 5 licences" - he who must not be named

8."spell bounding user interface: 1. touchscreen keyboard
2. original specially trained mouse in a cage with biometric sensors at bottom(u can tell places to ur mouse. itll automatically go there and click by itself) 3. just display middle finger for system to shutdown i used to dream in my childhood about such a UI. splendid .. MAPROSOFT makes anything possible"
- steve jobs

9."i never thought 1 person could make such a difference to put BITS above stanford in world rankings ... im proud that he studied in my institute" - KK Birla (chancellor BITS-pilani)

10."vaari manojuuu .. innirojulu bits lo ee department lo lekunda 10p kaakunda ee MAPROSOFT coding chestunnava....keka strat eesavgaa .. karthika kuda undi enduku?? ..10p ayyi just google lo job techukogalgindi antee" -puneet (manoj's cloge friend)

11. "he added 5,423,020,235 libraries to JAVA API .. so wer renaming sun microsystems to sunoj microsystemsin honor of this LEGEND" -jonathan schwartz(CEO sun microsystems)

12. "this is highest ecological imbalance in nature so far no. of MAPROSOFT OFFICES > no. of dogs population in bangalore > no. of maprosoft coders" - NGC ecospace survey -2015

13. "East or west organizational culture at MAPROSOFT is the best.. we have( all play and no work) at our offices .. all coding is done at main branch in silicon valley by our CEO itself " -a MAPROSOFT manager during induction of new joinees

14. "is it brain or PAN GALACTIC CARGOBLASTA??.. if our CEO gives presentation demo of new product, even keeping dictionary beside us will not help.. well have to spend 3-4 days with a special MAPROSOFT research team that helps experienced employees like us to decode and understand his speech " - an experienced MAPROSOFT employee

Monday, July 14, 2008

crazypuri.jpg


my first crazy creation for this blog!!!!
(upon the place where id like to work :-))